There's always a voice inside my head. It never quietens. It's always there... whispering.
"You're not good enough... too fat... you don't deserve to eat... you're disgusting..."
Will this torment ever end?
I hear that voice too... But i'm in treatment and i'm getting happier again <3 food ectually turns that voice into a small meeningless enemy... Before i was 160 cm and 43.5 kg, i looked like a skeleton... But I admitted it and it helped me to get better again. Now I'm 160 cm and 48 kg and I'm happy about it <3 my boyfriend also likes my body better now, than before, because i'm not so boney, pale and tiered <3 My mood is also getting better and I am more awake and better looking again! My advice: try to eat? "just" give it a try? curves signalates fertility, which is a HUGE turn-on for men(and some women) and they like a soft and plump stomach to kiss and lie their heads on <3
That was my comment... I hope you can use some of it <3
Thank you for putting this up there. It's the most expressive deviation I've seen about the actual struggle. And, (NOT pushing my stuff just offering support) here's some lit I've written about that wonderful disorder:
Wow it is so serieal to find that there are others who have these thoughts aswell. It feels like food is the enemy. I am so worried about losing that voice because it is my whill power. Im still pretty new to treatment but its not going well. I hate how fat iv'e gotten already and i sob every time i look in the mirror. Hang tight honey! There are more of us out there and we're rooting for you !
I hear it too! Ive been fighting anorexia and bulimia for about 6 yeafrs now and I do believe it will go away! I have hope that we can fight this!!! I truly believe that with help we can stop all opur pain and suffering either that or wer all gonna die Id rather look on the bright side but oh well.
Let the voice go... when you hear that little voice, focus on it, then you make it fade, you can do it, just focus on it and you will hear it go... it will fade and you wont have to hear it any more. Don't give up, be strong.
I too know that voice well. even when i look at food its there being like, "don't even think about it. the answer is no. you don't need it, you've got MEALS on you allready, you stored them over time and with every meal you skip you are burning one off. keep going and you'll finally be not so ugly." i sympathize with you, honestly, just ignore it and pray that it goes away in time.
You know it is possible to beat it... It took me years but I'm OK now! I've realized that it's NOT worth it to listen to the voices! Keep on fighting -I promise you : what you gain from resisiting those voices is well worth fighting for!
I hate the voice in my head. It never shuts up and I cant control it. So I tell my mom the things I hear and say I cant control it so now she wants to comint me. Sorry if I spelled this wrong. This made me feel good, now I know I'm not crazy or alone.
i have a similar voice...'your not hungry, just fat. put it down fatty, no one likes to see you, no one wants to see you eat. you disgust me you failier...' etc etc, wonder if il ever kick it enough that it shuts up, or wether itl just stay with me eating enough not to die but not enough to live properly. i dunno! x
That voice is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with...and it took too many near death experiences for me to realise that it really wasn't true...if you need any help with dealing with the voice...or any other problems for that matter...feel free to PM me
In my head I hear-Your disgusting, no one loves fat people and if you eat too much you will turn into your mother-a fat cow, who loves that? You can't gain weight because peope expect you to look thin and if you gain weight you no longer matter! That is what runs through my mind. I don't know if it will go away and sometimes I don't want it to. Sometimes it is a comfort to know what I am going to be thinking about. If you wanna talk more that would be great. Everybody needs a friend and someone to talk to. I consider myself to be a borderline anorexic. I do force myself to eat and usually keep it down, but I hate it, and I have to force myself. I do not remember the last time I enjoyed eating. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels-ya know?